


Dovetail

by DreamerInSilico



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22274764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamerInSilico/pseuds/DreamerInSilico
Summary: Alana has a lot of hangups about getting into relationships, and those have only been added to by recent events.  But somehow getting involved with Margot isn't nearly as hard as it should be.
Relationships: Alana Bloom/Margot Verger
Comments: 12
Kudos: 59
Collections: 2019 Eat The Rude Secret Santa





	Dovetail

Alana sees it coming from a mile away, and she knows she could, and probably should put the brakes on early, but she doesn’t. 

On paper, Margot Verger is exactly the kind of person someone who knows they have a savior complex should keep their distance from - while she’s hardly so gauche as to overshare with someone playacting as her brother’s psychiatrist, it’s impossible not to read between the lines of that relationship. Impossible not to see the chronic trauma inherent to growing up in a profligately abusive family, let alone the specifics of what Mason’s probably done to her. But in practice, Alana finds she feels no need to step in as advocate or savior - the question she can’t settle is whether that has more to do with her own change in perspective, or with Margot herself. 

It’s probably a bit of both. Most complex emotional phenomena are.

She hasn’t put the brakes on, but when the swelling wave between them grows a frothy peak and threatens to break, she finds herself reluctant to let that happen, much as she wants to.

“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” she murmurs, when the invisible string draws uncomfortably taut. Neither of them had been talking about anything particularly suggestive, but she knows Margot knows what she means. 

Margot’s lovely features take on a serious yet very subtly playful cast that Alana’s been learning to recognize and appreciate over the past several weeks. “I’ll spare you the painful clarification about what ‘this’ is and just ask - are you letting me down gently, or inviting me to convince you?” 

Alana laughs. It’s the right question, because clear communication of boundaries is a gold standard in interpersonal advice, and one she personally needs to get better at. It’s also the question that makes her feel most bare. 

“I don’t want to say I’m inviting you to convince me, because that sounds a little too… ‘I’ve made up my mind but want plausible deniability about it’ for my tastes.” She swallows. “But I’m not… necessarily letting you down, gently or otherwise.”

“Then I can work with that,” Margot says with a smile and a coy look that she has to know is messing with Alana’s insides. “Tell me,  _ Doctor Bloom _ , what concerns do you have?” She reaches out and very gently toys with a lock of Alana’s hair where it hangs near her jaw, though the fingers don’t brush her skin.

“I have… trust issues. And control issues. It’s easy to anticipate those causing problems.” 

“Makes two of us,” Margot says dryly. “In my experience, the issues being mutual makes them a lot easier to manage.” 

That’s something Alana’s heard from patients, from time to time. A small part of her mind is darkly amused that she may be setting herself up to test it for herself, given that her own trust and control issues are rather recently-acquired. 

“And overthinking issues,” she adds, giving Margot a small, wry smile, which Margot returns almost impishly. 

“ _ That _ kind, I don’t have. The opposite, if anything, though apparently not ‘to a clinically significant degree.’”

“So should I be shoring up your impulse control, then?”

“Mmmn, that would be counterproductive to me seducing you, wouldn’t it? No, I think maybe I could be your impulse control- _ control _ . Skills include sultry looks and asking the fun questions, like ‘Why not?’ and ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’” 

“My idea of ‘the worst that could happen’ got dramatically expanded the last time I was in a relationship,” Alana notes with an arched eyebrow, but she’s still smiling. She’s not even really fighting herself, anymore, but the banter is actually fun, and Margot does in fact give excellent sultry looks. 

Right now, she’s laying a hand over the left side of her chest and watching Alana through her lashes. “Cross my heart, my only foray into murder or attempted murder was the one you already knew about.” 

“Well, in that vein, my only foray into attempted murder was the one you already knew about, too.” 

“I can’t say I was concerned, but I’ll call that reassuring, all the same.”

A past version of herself -  _ several  _ past versions - would have been horrified that she could make light of what happened like this. But this version is just… relieved. Humor is the kindest lens through which that part of the past can possibly be viewed, and sharing the same flavor of it with Margot is a peculiar sort of understanding. 

“What’s the  _ best _ that could happen?” Alana asks, actively indulging in that  _ impulse control-control _ and just saying what comes to mind. Whimsical it might be, but what Margot wants out of this connection… voicing that is actually relevant. 

Margot swallows hard, and for a moment Alana regrets the question, but then there’s a sort of… wistful calm that mists over Margot’s eyes, and then she answers. “Best? I mean, I’m really pushing it here, but best case, we find we not only like each other and get along on a once-weekly basis, but more than that. Best case, we both feel like we’ve got someone in our corner. Someone we can trust. Hell, love.” Margot leavens the sentimentality with a sardonic smirk and adds, “Ever done the U-Haul lesbian thing? Minus the ‘lesbian,’ because I know you’re bi, but.”

Alana finds herself smirking too. “Almost did, right out of college. I was wildly in love with my first girlfriend but just self-aware enough to realize that the key word was  _ wildly _ . We had a big fight less than a month later that had me questioning everything about the relationship, and it never really recovered after that. What about you?”

Margot sighs, shakes her head, again looking ironically droll. “I’ve thought about what it might be like, a few times, but my family meant I couldn’t be the U-Haul destination and also that it would be very hard for me to be the one relocating.” Another quirk of her brow, and she’s back to being serious. “You asked what I wanted. I think I want you. And I know how to step back from that if it isn’t working for us. But for once in my life I think I want to be optimistic, you know? I think we might even make that make sense?”

Her eyes are large, impeccably made-up, and hopeful. They are profoundly difficult to resist, if Alana even wanted to. But Alana does not.

She holds Margot’s gaze a moment longer, then kisses her.


End file.
